i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize