i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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