Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
