dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Randomize
