in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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