I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
