Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My ass is underappreciated
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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