Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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