thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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