hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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