great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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