NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
