flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
