the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
