About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
