Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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