I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
