bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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