I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
