hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
