i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
