Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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