Got a toothbrush?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
