I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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