Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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