He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize