When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize