There is no way he is gay with that hair.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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