in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My dick has a subreddit
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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