There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize