she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
