He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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