he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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