My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
