So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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