If you die in college, do you die in real life?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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