when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
