Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
