okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
