I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Drake has all the answers
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
