i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
