stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
