lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
