i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
