this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
