I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the day after is always just damage control
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
