There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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