I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
