I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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