Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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