I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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