So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
