In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
