South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
