Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
