You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
