i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
His nipple licking is glorious
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