So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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