The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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