so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
