He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
