I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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