office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
