I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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