Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
