You can't motorboat a personality
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
