Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
