don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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