I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My feet surprised me
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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