Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize